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This morning I poked through my closet and decided to wear a dress I finally felt comfortable wearing.  A black and white three-quarter sleeve dress.

I felt good today.  Decent hair, cute outfit, not a lot of acne.

And now right before bed I sit unfurled.  All from one moment that didn't mean as much earlier as it does now.  Like poison, with some time, it seeped into my heart.

"Are you expecting?"

I laughed it off in the moment.

But now here I am, questioning all my life choices, because somewhere along the line they led me to this point of looking like I'm carrying another human being.

I've tried to be pretty.

I just can't be.

And I'm so tired.

Will I ever feel comfortable in my own body?

I cried in the shower.  The only prayers I could pray were, "God, please let me see me through Your eyes.  Beautiful," and, "Why am I so upset about this?  Pride.  God, help me be humble."

That's all I have.