Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live
Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain
Tithe First and Fully So the biggest, most rewarding part of this shopping fast has been that I was finally able to have the freedom to tithe the full, pre-tax amount! For as long as I've been a Christian (2009, so 7ish years) I've struggled with giving back to God what's rightfully His. And it feels satisfying! I'm finally being faithful with His faithfulness in my life. When I wake up on pay day, my first action is giving to God, happily, because I'm not restrained by my shopping list. There's a freedom in this that comes along with knowing I'm doing what I'm called to do with a heart that's finally committed to putting God first in my finances instead of me feeling guilty or me making excuses or saying, "Next time."
Become Generous It's kind of fun to see what doors open when you can't spend money on yourself. I've been able to give to school fundraisers, donate to friends' causes, and tip more generously. Having friends and family be in the restaurant industry and hearing stories of them being stiffed after genuinely great customer service has given me a different perspective and I've learned to tip generously anyway. But this opened the door to gift a higher percentage. Now please note I'm not revealing this to say, "I'm an awesome person! Knight me!"—um, no. I'm sharing this because people work hard and sometimes deserve a better-than-standard tip. I'm not saying outrageously tip all the time, but be open to it.
Know the Different Between Need v. Want v. Instant Gratification I learned that these are very different things:
- Need- can't function without it; essential
- Want- can function without it, but you'd be more comfortable with it
- Instant Gratification- not a need and possibly not even truly a want, but it's sparkly, pretty, shiny, and it's right in front of my face, and I'm bored/sad/stressed and buying this will make me feel better about life
Make Do with What You Have Not buying new clothes makes one examine their inventory and it made me realize my cycle: Buy, wear once, stack, forget. So once I took buying clothes out of the equation, the formula turns into: Wear, realize I love and wear again because I'm focused on the now (what I currently have) and not the future (what I'm planning to buy). Or it turns into: wear, realize this item doesn't bring me joy (thanks Marie Kondo) and get rid of it. Another thing that helped me figure out what I actually want in my closet was creating my own personal board via The Everygirl: 8 Tips to Help You Find Your Personal Style. This helped me navigate my closet, distinguishing trendy clothes that didn't really suit me and pieces that I actually love.
Realize the Bigger Picture So if you've made it this far, congratulations! You reached the culmination of this experience and it came in the form of a .99 cent bag.
When friends asked if I made it through Lent without buying anything, the answer is yes. For all intents and purposes, I did not intentionally buy anything during the fast. I did, however, accidentally buy something.
I know, I know. You're feeling cheated. But hear me out. This is a long-winded story with a not so long-winded moral.
And I made it all the way home before the reality set in.
Oh, merciful Heavens, what had I done! I thought about taking the .99 cent bag back, but the damage was done. I had bought something. And now's the point in the story where you're wondering, "Jamie, be real. How do you accidentally buy something?" It sounds unrealistic to me, too, but it happened. Between the moving-so-slow-the-earth-made-a-full-rotation-cashier, the loud customers behind me making a scene about something they had no business making a scene about, and my own internal struggle of 'Which bag would she like better?'—all of that white noise drowned out God and I couldn't hear the Holy Spirit shouting, "What are you doing, woman?!"
So this is where the spiritual part comes in. As I was sulking at home the night this happened, I heard God begin to teach me. How often does this happen with sin? You can be on your best behavior. Your guard is up against the Enemy. And WHAM! It hits you. You could've just come from church or you could've just had your quiet time. What I re-learned is that sin does not always present itself as sin. A lot of times it's discrete and so covert that you don't realize what's happened until the damage is done. One thought, one word, one action, and you're suddenly somewhere you never intended to be. And that's the other thing about sin—it's everywhere.
Now, if you read this and think I'm calling myself a sinner because I bought a cheap bag, you're missing the point entirely. It's what it represents—sin sneaks up on us and even when we try to obey God to the best of our abilities, our best still falls short. It will always fall short. Whenever you feel like a failure and you realize you can't be anybody's Savior, read Ephesians 2:1-10 and let it just melt over you:
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
So whether you eat or drink or (shop or don't shop), do it all for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31
