So over the last few months I've been meeting with my friend KT once a week. I really appreciate her and praise God for bringing me a friend who I can be real with. Last week we met at our usual spot and she talked about creating 5 prayerful resolutions. These would be prayers for ourselves that we would pray for over the next year. Here are mine:
1.) Live as the "lilies of the field" do, simply and unaffectedly (without any attempt to impress by deception or exaggeration). Let everything I do become so naturally centered on the Lord that it becomes less and less of a conscious effort (like women who can quote scripture effortlessly, to be nice to people who are otherwise frustrating). Let it be natural and grow from being a "fake it till you make it" kind of feeling to a state of natural revolution of the flesh. I pray for genuine centeredness on Christ and the cross. Lilies of the field do not toil, they just are what they are--lilies. Let it not be a struggle to be a lily, to do what I was made to do--follow Christ. Let it be my nature. Leave my flesh to be constantly overthrown.
2.) To have realistic expectations of others while having expectations of God (instead of believing God will not answer my prayer, so I don't even bother to ask). Ask and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7). God has answered enough of my prayers, why do I doubt Him? His ability? His desire to give me good gifts? God is my father, my mother, my sister, my brother, my friend. Let God fill in those empty gaps in my life instead of putting those expectations on others to fill them. Let God be my supply.
3.) Figure out what a healthy Jamie looks like and take steps toward that. Emotionally? Spiritually? Mentally? Physically?
4.) I'm not going to hurt me anymore. Instead of viewing myself as worthless, I'm going to view myself through God's lens. Find scripture to combat dark thoughts, remind me of the truths of God. No longer allowing others to take from me what's mine--the knowledge that I'm worth something, I'm lovable, and capable. No longer giving the spirit of guilt any real estate in my head or heart, renouncing it and living freely in Christ. Find out what it means to live freely in Christ. When I feel guilt, I'm not free and I'm paying extra on top of what God has already paid, wasting, expending what can't be expanded because anything I've ever done wrong or will do wrong, God's already paid for.
5.) Stop building up storehouses. Let my house be a home instead of a storehouse and not an overflowing closet. No more overbuying, no more stocking up. I don't need two of everything. I'm not Noah's ark! Realize that comes from a fear of not being in control and being too scared God won't provide. It's not trusting God and it also comes from greed. From when I was younger and didn't have any cool clothes. What am I trying to prove now? What am I searching for? Acceptance? Compliments? Fitting in? What am I looking for that I can't find in God? Trust God to provide. Trust God to bring back sales. Trust God enough to clean out your closet, and then trust Him enough when you have an easy-to-navigate closet. Start buying only one thing, stop yourself from buying two!
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